In today’s hyperconnected materialist world, identity is often measured by social labels, career titles, high salary, and the number of likes on a post.
When your sense of worth depends entirely on societal approval, family expectations, or online validation, you begin to live more for the image of yourself than for your true self. Over time, this disconnection can lead to emotional exhaustion, loss of purpose, and mental distress.
In a world where our worth is too often measured in likes, followers, and personal branding, the question of “Who am I?” has become more urgent than ever. We live in an age where identity is curated for public display, but the deeper self — the one untouched by trends and algorithms — often gets lost in the noise.
Across cultures and centuries, great minds have explored the meaning of life and the path to a meaningful life. Lord Krishna’s vision of Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam — “the world is one family” — reminds us that our identity is not limited to nationality, religion, or social group. It is rooted in something much larger: our shared humanity. In preserving our I — our authentic self — we also connect to the “we,” the wider family of life.
Mahatma Gandhi’s guiding principle, Ahimsa Parmo Dharma — non-violence as the highest virtue — goes beyond merely refraining from harm. It is a call to live in a way that respects the dignity of all beings, including ourselves. True non-violence begins with the inner dialogue: refusing to let self-hate, fear, and ego dominate our minds.
The Cost of Losing Self-Identity in India
Student Suicides: A Rising Crisis
Tragically common: In 2022, student suicides accounted for 7.6% of all suicides in India—slightly down from the 8.0% in 2021, but still alarming. India Today and The Times of India
Decade-long surge: From 2013 to 2022, total student suicides more than doubled—from 6,654 to 13,044. India Today; Business Standard
Geographical hotspots: Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, and Madhya Pradesh together contribute one-third of all student suicides in the country. Business Standard
Gender distortion: Male student suicides rose by 99% over the decade, while female student suicides increased by 92%.Business Standard
Youth and Gendered Pressures
Young women’s vulnerability: Among ages 15–39, suicide is the leading cause of death for women—higher even than maternal causes. PMC WIRED
Male mental health needs rising: India’s male suicide rate stands at 14.2 per 100,000, more than double that of women at 6.6 per 100,000. Yet, recently, there’s been a 126% rise in helpline calls from urban men (2020 to 2024), reflecting growing struggles with anxiety and isolation.
India’s women are at the frontline of this identity crisis. A 2018 Lancet study found that the country accounted for 36.6% of global suicide deaths among women — an alarming figure linked to chronic stress, suppressed aspirations, and rigid gender norms.
Men Bear the Burden of Suicides
Recent data from the NCRB (National Crime Records Bureau) shows that in 2021, Indian men accounted for 72.5% of all suicide victims—far exceeding rates among women Down To Earth
According to The Lancet, the suicide death rate among men soared to 2.64 times that of women—over 118,900 male deaths versus 45,000 female deaths in 2021 The Hindu; Business Line
Family Pressures and Marital Stress
Family-related issues have surged as a trigger for male suicides—rising by 107.5% between 2014 and 2021 PMC
Married men are particularly vulnerable, with a suicide death rate of 24.3 per 100,000, compared to 8.4 per 100,000 for married women www.ndtv.comPMC.
Between 2020 and 2024, calls from men to mental health helplines rose by 126%, often involving issues like anxiety, relationship stress, and self-doubt The Times of India+1.
What This Reveals
These numbers tell a distressing story: when young individuals lose connection with their true selves—whether under academic pressure, societal expectations, or emotional suppression—the outcome can be fatal. Loss of identity isn’t just philosophical; it translates into real emotional devastation across students, women, and men.
The loss of the “I” is not abstract — it manifests as burnout, anxiety, depression, or a gnawing sense that one’s life is being lived for others rather than from within.
Two Models of Identity
Hindu philosophy offers a contrasting model of selfhood that can act as a powerful anchor in such turbulent times.
In the Hindu worldview, selfhood is not a performance but a discovery. The Atman is unchanging; beyond the roles we play. Modern self-identity, influenced by Western thought, often celebrates fluidity and reinvention — empowering, yet vulnerable to fragmentation when untethered from deeper meaning.
When Spiritual Anchors are Missing:
Without a stable spiritual core, identity becomes fragile. This is why so many feel “not enough” despite outward success.
Restoring the “Real-I”
Preserving one’s self-identity requires both inner and outer change.
Destigmatise Mental Health
Public campaigns and school curricula should normalise emotional literacy.
Workplaces can introduce counselling, meditation breaks, and reflective spaces.
Strengthen Autonomy
Economic empowerment, especially for women, creates the freedom to make health and life choices.
Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Following Gandhi’s Swaraj (self-rule), individuals can learn to govern their own time and energy.
Integrate Spiritual Practice into Daily Life
Meditation, yoga, and mindful silence help reconnect with the unchanging Atman amidst life’s noise.
Build Support Systems
Community groups, women’s collectives, and tele-counselling can offer both practical help and emotional safety.
Rediscovering the Real Self/Real -I
Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita reminds us that the soul cannot be destroyed; Buddha teaches that liberation comes from understanding the true nature of the self; Gandhi lived by the principle that personal truth is the foundation of human service. These are not distant ideals — they are living tools.
In moving beyond likes and labels, we reclaim an identity that is not dictated by others but discovered within. In doing so, we not only protect our own mental and spiritual health but also contribute to a society where every individual — especially women — can live as their fullest self.
Buddha’s teachings offer another compass: Right View, Right Intention, and Right Action are not just moral rules but practical tools to navigate the chaos of modern living. They ask us to pause, reflect, and act in alignment with our inner truth, not just external approval.
For today’s youth, rediscovering the real self is not a retreat into the past — it is a revolutionary act for the future. In a time of identity crises and mental health struggles, choosing self-awareness over self-promotion, compassion over competition, and authenticity over image is not weakness — it is strength.
To live “beyond likes and labels” is to merge the ancient and the modern: to stand rooted in timeless values while engaging with the world in fresh, fearless ways. This is not about rejecting technology, social media, or ambition. It is about ensuring that our I — the core of who we are — remains intact, grounded in truth, and alive with purpose.
Because in the end, the number of likes will fade, the labels will change, but the real self — if nurtured — will endure.
Real Exercise to Get Real Self
In gurdwaras, temples, and other places of worship, there exists a deep-rooted tradition of selfless service—what Sikhs call seva and Hindus often describe as daan or seva bhav.
People volunteer their time, energy, and resources without expecting any material reward. Such acts are not just about charity; they are about connecting with one’s real self. Spiritual teachings across faiths emphasize that serving humanity is equivalent to serving the divine. When individuals give their service with pure intention, it nurtures humility, compassion, and empathy, dissolving the “societal- I”.
In a world where identity is often tied to profession, wealth, or social status, service at these sacred spaces reminds people of their core human identity—one beyond labels and societal pressures. It becomes a way to reconnect with inner values, heal emotional burdens, and find a sense of purpose.
This concept is especially powerful in today’s context, where mental stress and alienation are on the rise. Voluntary service offers not only help to others but also personal healing and spiritual growth for the one who serves.
Deep Dive:
Every human is born with a basic sense of “I” (self-awareness), but through life, this core identity gets layered over by social, cultural, and political labels.
The Original “I”, The newborn only has a primal awareness: I exist.
At birth → a child does not know Societal “I” or Real- “I” it means child does not know caste, religion, nationality, or even family roles and relations.
2. The Added Identities
As we grow, society teaches us to add identities: Societal –“I”
Family Identity → “I am the son/daughter of so-and-so.”
Caste/Community → based on birth grouping.
Religious Identity → faith, rituals, and beliefs inherited from family.
National Identity → “I am Indian / American / Japanese…”
Social Roles → profession, gender role, political affiliation, etc.
Scientific Understanding of Societal -“I”
Psychologically:
These identities are part of social conditioning. They help us function in a group but also create separation from others.They are coverings (upādhis), like clothes you wear. Your real self is naked consciousness — unchanged no matter what “costume” you put on.
The Problem with Societal-I
When humans forget the original “I” and fully merge with these outer identities:
It creates division (my caste vs. yours, my nation vs. yours, my relations).
It causes ego conflict — defending labels as if they are the self.
It limits spiritual growth because you mistake the costume for the actor.
The Liberation: From Societal “I” to Real “I”
The journey of self-awareness is:
Start: “I am this person, of this caste, religion, nation.”
Awakening: “These are roles I play; they are not me.”
Realization: “I am the witness — beyond all identities.”
The daily rhythm of balancing the “Real I” (spiritual self) and the “Societal I” (material/social self) in Indian life, and how this equilibrium is breaking down for today’s youth:
Balancing the Two “I”s in Indian Life
In traditional Indian life, a person naturally moves between two dimensions of the self every day:
The Real “I” – the inner, spiritual identity. This is felt in the quiet moments after waking — remembering God, engaging in prayer, meditation, or simple acts that strengthen one’s connection to the eternal self.
The Societal “I” – the outward, material identity shaped by social roles, work, and responsibilities. Around 9–10 AM, most people shift into this mode as they step into their jobs, businesses, or duties, focusing on strengthening their position and role in the world.
In the evening, the cycle often comes full circle — people return to worship, satsang, or self-reflection, again nourishing the Real “I”. This daily oscillation allows Indians to balance material life with spiritual life — a living expression of the equilibrium between karma (action) and detachment from its fruits, as taught by Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
However, today’s youth often struggle to recognize or consciously navigate this shift. Without understanding the natural transition between these two selves, they may feel pulled apart — moving abruptly from societal “I” to real “I” and back, without harmony. This disconnection can lead to depression, anxiety, and a weakening of both personal fulfilment and social responsibility.
Life is a dynamic balance between the two “I”s.
Societal I means: “Karm karo” – perform your duties with commitment.
Real I means: “Phal ki ichcha mat karo” – be free from attachment to results.
A healthy life is not about choosing one over the other, but allowing both to exist in rhythm, each strengthening the other.
Five Layers of the Human Mind & Neuroscientific Integration:
Summary
False “i”: Primarily linked with outer koshas (1–3) and brain areas related to survival, sensory processing, and ego maintenance.
Real “I”: Beyond brain-body, but experienced through quieting of the default mode network, prefrontal-limbic balance, and gamma synchrony in meditation.
📜 Gita Connection: Acting from the Real “I” means using the wisdom sheath as the driver and letting go of results, allowing the mind-body machine (outer koshas) to perform without egoic clinging.
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