Why the Government Should Declare Khichdi as India's National Dish
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Sandip Roy
It is the epitome of homogeneity, perfect for any government that wants a one-size-fits-all solution for everything. One Nation. One Song. One Election. One Interlinked-River. Now One Gruel to bind them all.
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It’s not going to be the “national food” apparently. It’s something
called “Brand India” food instead. And it’s not going to be force-fed to
bhakts and skeptics alike.
Harsimrat Kaur Badal, Union minister of food processing industries has tweeted: “Enough khichdi cooked up on a fictitious ‘National Dish’. It has only been put for a record entry in #WorldFoodIndia.”
Sanjeev Kapoor will try to create a world record by cooking 800 kgs of khichdi on November 4 as part of the World Food India fair. It’s like World Yoga Day for khichdi.
But the government should take note. Khichdi has shown immense
potential as a prospective national food well beyond any World Food Day
hoopla. Let us count the ways.
It is fully sanskari soul food. It has not been contaminated
by overtly Mughal influences like the biryani. The word itself is
derived from the Sanskrit khiccha and it’s a key part of an Ayurvedic diet. It is given as bhog to the gods. It’s mentioned in the Charak Samhita and has real historic standing in India unlike, say, the invention of head transplant surgery.
It is a one-pot unity in its diversity. It can come geela or runny, or bhuna – dry. Fasting Hindus can partake of sabudana khichdi and avoid grains. Anglo-Indians can add smoked fish to it and make it a kedgeree. Even Hyderabadi Muslims have their khichdi keema
so there’s no way to call this an underhand attempt to sideline Muslims
and the biryani brigade. The South cannot call this yet another
imposition of the Hindi belt since their bisi bele bath and pongal come close enough. Mamata Banerjee probably likes her khichuri.
It is so resolutely bland, it evokes no passionate regional feelings
like Alphonso mangoes vs Kesar vs Langra. We have all heard of the mango
wars and the biryani wars. But whoever heard of khichdi wars? It is the
safest of choices, almost boring in its wholesome virtuousness. It has
an aam aadmi street credibility – very populist and anti-elite. In fact, when is the last time the Lutyens galouti liberals served khichdi at their salons?
It has a Gujarat connection. These days it’s very important to have a
Gujarat connection to everything. It helps with the general asmita. Suratis like their khichdi with kadhi. It’s popular in Kutch as well. It is, as the parody account Venkronym Naidu has tweeted, MODI – Most Outstanding Delicacy of India.
It can be a great opportunity for Baba Ramdev who can flood the
market with Patanjali khichdi mixes. Indigo can serve eight-minute
heat-and-eat khichdi on the airplane. Foreign dignitaries can have it
even if they are suffering from Delhi belly. It’s Indian but not too
spicy and it’s definitely an untapped Indian food market. Chicken tikka
masala is so 1990s.
South Indian Khichdi. Credit: PTI
It is suitable for mass consumption and mass cooking. It can be
cooked in vats, served by the ladle, an assembly line of golden glop.
Imagine making corned beef for thousands. Or fruit bat soup which
apparently is the national dish of Seychelles.
It is the epitome of homogeneity. It is perfect for any government
that wants a one-size fits all solution for everything. One Nation. One
Song. One Election. One Interlinked-River. Now One Gruel to bind them
all. Khichdi is our one-pot solution for nutrition and this is patriotic
duty that can be administered by the ladle. Khichdi boils all our pesky
diversity down to easy-to-swallow goop and its recipe is much easier
and much more forgiving than the lyrics to Vande Mataram.
It is comfort food redolent with nostalgia. We can all remember
monsoon days with pouring rain outside and a pot of khichdi bubbling
inside. Usually that was because on rainy days little else was
available. Necessity was the mother of invention. But now we can feel
even better about it because we are eating our national food. Best of
all, it accommodates all, from Sanjeev Kapoor to the bachelor with few
cooking skills. You often have mediocre biryani but rarely mediocre
khichdi. It takes special talent to make a khichdi out of khichdi.
It goes well with ghee. Thus promotion of khichdi is promotion of the gau mata as well and the gau raksha dals can have khichdi cook-offs instead of lynching people.
It is forgiving. Every time a BJP spokesperson makes a khichdi of
Vande Mataram on national television he can claim he is only paying
obeisance to our national food. We now have carte blanche or carte
golden to make a hash of everything and still feel patriotic about it.
Yes, there are naysayers. Some are saying this is the government’s
way of admitting that something is very sick about the economy these
days as it prescribes a national dose of illness food. India Explained tweets: “Makes sense the BJP should pick khichdi as a national dish: aptly symbolises how they make a total mishmash of everything.”
Only an anti-national could confess to hating khichdi, the comfort
food for infants and invalids. That’s like hating your mother. This is
not really the queen of super foods as the government claims. That’s too
regal. It is more like the wet nurse of super food, a Leela Mishra of
food and who would be so callous as to hate beloved Mausi.
I think the government should declare khichdi the national food
forthwith. I don’t think we need to stand up every time anyone eats
khichdi as Omar Abdullah has suggested. But there’s no need for videshi
French fries and caramel popcorn at the movie halls anymore. All movie
theatres should start selling khichdi at the snack counter. An
overpriced katori of microwaved khichdi followed by the national anthem – could deshbhakti get more stirring than that?
Jai khichdi.
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